I know, I know. You’re probably looking at this post and thinking “Is Hannah trying to start up her blog AGAIN?” It feels as if this is the 100th time I’ve sat down and convinced myself that I will have an active blog. Every time I’ve though about reviving this blog, life has hit me fast, so my blog falls to the wayside.
The past few months, I was in such a uncreative and boring rut. Everything that I did felt just plain blah to me. My inspiration meter was resting at a low 0%. Inspiration would come in short spurts, but never lasted long. Life was hard, and my journals gathered dust. I felt like I was a different person from the one who last wrote in those journals and for some reason, I felt like I couldn’t use those journals again. They weren’t mine, they belonged to the past.
A few weeks ago, I was out running errands and decided to stop into Michaels. As I was browsing, I found the $5 notebook section. You’re probably thinking “Hannah, don’t you already have too many notebooks that are just sitting on your shelf, patiently waiting for you to be ready to write again?” And the answer is 100% yes. But I needed something new, something that could belong to current me until I take control of my life once more and become the girl who wrote in journals constantly once more. So I picked up a notebook that was calling my name and bought it without worrying about how much I would use it or what I would write.
Since then, I’ve written almost daily. I don’t know what is so magical about this particular notebook, but I feel like it is mine to do with however I please. I’ve been able to find inspiration again, through story prompts on Pinterest and my friends I play DnD with. The world feels alive with possibilities, and I am so glad I can tap into that.
On the first page of my new journal, I made it clear to myself that I don’t have to write everyday. This concept always created a sort of dread in me and I felt like I was setting myself up to fail. During the school year, I’m a busy gal and I know that realistically, I could never write something every single day. So instead, I simply promised myself that I would write more.
I can already feel myself mending through writing. It was the thing I used to constantly turn to when I needed to express emotions, vent, or sort through things. Having not written in a long time, I felt like I was falling. But now, with this new $5 notebook that is completely and utterly mine, I feel like I am standing up again.
So I invite you along on this journey of self discovery through writing in the hopes that maybe my findings will resonate with you and awake your creative soul. Maybe this blog will turn into reflections on life or a make-up blog with all the latest trends or a blog full of poetry. Who knows? All I know is that I will be writing more. And that’s all that matters.